


Dying Embers

by Squickqueen



Category: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Not Beta Read, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squickqueen/pseuds/Squickqueen
Summary: During a long ride through the wasteland a lot can happen. Some go mad, others discover answers to their questions. Blue Eyes, however, finds the courage to talk about Ash's death.





	Dying Embers

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Verlöschende Glut](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278196) by [Squickqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squickqueen/pseuds/Squickqueen). 



> I'm still battling a writer's block from hell but hey, better one story than no story at all ^^;

Long since had the familiar forest and the impressive redwoods disappeared on the horizon. The land began to rise, became mountainous and harsh. Even the air changed, making it harder to breathe for the two riders, who ascended on narrow paths, flanked by a yawning chasm on the left and a steep mountainside on the right.

It was all new to Blue Eyes.

Trembling, the young chimp cowered on the back of his horse, his eyes firmly pinned on Rocket’s back, who rode through the icy hell, as if he didn't feel the biting wind. Blue Eyes shivered. His hands and feet were burning due to the coldness, lumps of snow hanging in his fur. Chimpanzees were not made for this environment, he kept telling himself, and yet here they were, riding stubbornly onward until the snow-capped peaks fell behind at last.

Ice and snow were followed by stone and sand. Every so often they rode past human settlements, long since abandoned and fallen into ruins. For the two travelers, the places meant a chance to rest. Something was wrong with this land though. A heavy stillness lingered here, with no animals present. It felt as if all life avoided this region, as if some invisible danger was lurking.

It was no land for apes.

_"Must ride on. Bad place."_

Rocket scratched his chin and shoved a handful of dried fruit into his mouth. Blue Eyes grumbled in agreement. What else was there to say and do? He had already become painfully aware of how little he knew about the world outside the forest he grew up in. He was glad for Rocket’s experience, foresight, and his ability to show him the ropes. Every day Blue Eyes became better acquainted with his new role as a scout. Soon neither riding for days nor the meager food bothered him anymore.

He and Rocket left on the next morning.

As they made their way through the wasteland, Blue Eyes started to wonder if the whole world was desolate and empty. Did a place exist, where a clan of apes could live in peace?

His father believed so.

"You must ride. Towards the mountains. Look for a place where we can live, far away from humans."

Those had been Caesar's words before he said goodbye to Rocket and Blue Eyes, sending them off on their journey into the unknown.

As exhausting as the ride was, Blue Eyes couldn’t imagine the horrors his family and friends had to endure back home. The war against the human soldiers had brought unimaginable cruelties to the life of the ape community.

Were his mother and brother still alive? They had to! His father would see to it. Caesar always protected those he loved.

Blue Eyes felt a sudden lump in his throat.

He hadn’t had the courage to protect what was dear to him. If he had listened to his father, if he had been braver, maybe Ash would still be alive.

Suddenly Blue Eyes drowned in memories of better times when life was still good and the future bright and nothing to be afraid of. Ash always stood out in those images of days long gone, whether they were fishing together or playing pranks on Maurice during school hours. Blue Eyes had only gradually realized how much Ash really meant to him. Suddenly all the little teasing, the tender touches during grooming and the long evenings sitting at the campfire appeared in a different light.

Blue Eyes choked down a sob. It couldn’t be helped, all was over. Ash was long gone and everything that could have been died with him.

Sometimes Blue Eyes wondered if Rocket felt the same way. During their journey they had never talked about Ash, in fact, they both avoided to even mention Ash. Perhaps that had been Ceasar’s intent form the start when he sent off both his son and Rocket. Back home everything reminded them of Ash. They needed the distance to heal and come to terms with their loss, and Caesar had understood that.

Blue Eyes took a deep breath.

To be honest, he longed for someone to speak to about his grief. He didn’t want to dwell on Ash’s death any longer, nor did he want to hide the feelings he had for his best friend anymore. Rocket, though, rode on, quiet and restrained. He wasn’t the person to talk to. Not yet.

There had been someone in the past, Blue Eyes remembered, and that one wasn’t even an ape!

* * *

"You're Blue Eyes, aren't you?"

Surprised he looked a the human who had appeared at his side. A shy face below a shock of black hair, haunted blue eyes like his own. Blue Eyes knew this face, of course, but he’d never talked to the human before. Till now the young man had stayed in the background, always near Malcolm and Ellie. Funny, how times changed – when they first crossed paths, all humans looked somewhat the same to Blue Eyes and now he addressed them by their names as if they were apes.

“Yes.”

"Nice to meet you. I am Alexander. Or Alex, if you prefer."

Alexander held out his hand. Blue Eyes' nose twitched. Initially, he didn't know what to do with the outstretched hand, but then he remembered his father and Malcolm shaking hands one time. Blue Eyes wasn't sure what the gesture meant, but it seemed important to the humans. And so he grabbed Alex's hand without further ado. It felt warm and rougher than expected. When Alex squeezed his hand, Blue Eyes pulled it back.

He trusted his hairless relatives only so far, though his hate towards them was gone, thanks to Koba’s violent coup. It couldn't hurt to be on guard, even Caesar was careful towards humans. Then again, Malcolm and his family were obviously good people. Why else would Caesar help them and instruct Rocket and his son to escort them safely out of the city?

Impatiently Blue Eyes tugged at the reins when the horse behind him bent down to chew on a tuft of grass. It carried part of the humans’ supplies and was in a correspondingly bad mood.

For a while chimp and human trotted next to each other along the broken road without saying a word, Alex with hunched shoulders, Blue Eyes in the rocking gait so typical for apes.

“I'm sorry about what happened," Alex finally resumed the conversation.

“If we hadn't contacted the military, you could be living peacefully in the forest again."

_"Father says it's Koba's fault. Not humans'."_

Thoughtfully Alex kicked a stone. It flew through the air, hit a road sign with a clang and disappeared into the high grass.

"Koba. The scarred chimpanzee? The one who led the attack on San Francisco?"

_"Bonobo, yes."_

Alex' mouth twitched.

"Oh, man, I really don't know anything. I can’t even tell a chimpanzee from a bonobo. I'm sorry."

A smile crept into Blue Eyes' eyes.

_"People all look the same to me, too."_

"You don't look the same. You have blue eyes, like me, and scars. Who did that? A human? Koba?”

"Bear."

Alexander mouthed an O. He looked at the chimpanzee with evident respect.

"I can't even shoot properly. Dad taught me, but I always start to tremble when holding a gun. It’s pathetic."

Alexander raised his hands, looked at them and clenched his fists. Blue Eyes almost admitted that his encounter with the bear had nothing heroic about it. Without his father’s and Koba's help, he would’ve been killed.

Instead, he signed: “ _Will never hold a gun again. Spear is much better."_

Alexander laughed. A pleasant, friendly sound that eased Blue Eyes' tense nerves. Funny, how much it reminded him of Ash.

His heart suddenly became heavy.

"Everything all right?"

The laughter had died on Alexander's lips. Worried, he searched for Blue Eyes’ gaze, who hastily blinked away the tears. Fortunately, at that point, Malcolm called for his son and Alex, hesitating for only a second, followed.

 

Thanks to their chimpanzee leaders, Malcolm's group made good progress. As they moved further south, the skyline of the human city faded into a tangle of blue, white, and gray. No more structure, only colors.

Twice the smell of bear rose into Blue Eyes’ nose, sending an electric bolt up his spine. This was no peaceful region, large predators had long since reclaimed it. To travel at night sure was a recipe for disaster, so just before sunset Rocket raised his clenched fist.

_„Stop.”_

Blue Eyes helped to unload and took care of the horses while the humans set up camp. When all was taken care of, humans and apes sat together by the fire, still keeping mostly to themselves, but it was a start. Blue Eyes vividly remembered their first stop and how only Ellie’s persistence and the cold night could convince him and Rocket to sit by the fire.

Blue Eyes' stomach growled.

Rocket grumbled amused and held the food bag out to his young companion.

 _„_ _Eat."_

While Blue Eyes halfheartedly nibbled on the dried fruits and cracked a few nuts, he turned his gaze to the flickering fire. He was in no mood for conversation and felt relieved when the humans, one after the other, retreated into their tents. Except for Malcolm, who first talked to Rocket in a weird mixture of signs and words. It looked as if they disagreed about something, but finally, Rocket nodded and returned to the fire.

_"Get some rest. I'll keep watch."_

_"I'm not tired yet. Can I keep the first watch?"_

For a brief moment, Rocket looked as if he wanted to object. Blue Eyes knew why. After all, he was Caesar's son and Rocket would do anything to keep him away from danger. But Blue Eyes did not want to be treated like a raw egg. He knew he had made a big mistake by following Koba, but he had learned from it. The naive prince of the past had grown up and wanted to learn. From his father and from Rocket.

Finally, Rocket nodded. Lovingly he patted the young chimpanzee on the shoulder.

"All right. Wake me up when the bright star over there is above the top of the tallest tree."

Soon silence fell, only interrupted by hissing embers and the sounds of those asleep in the tents. It was a peaceful night, almost unnatural so, considering the chaos of the past weeks. When Blue Eyes closed his eyes, he imagined hearing the rattle of machine guns and the shrill shrieks of apes and humans dying in agony.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Blue Eyes noticed movement between the tents. As soon as a dark shadow approached, he squinted and held the spear tighter in his hand, baring his teeth.

"It's me. Alex," whispered the shadow and Blue Eyes' growling stopped.

Now the young man stepped into the flickering light of the embers. A shy smile flashed over his features.

"Can't sleep?"

_"I’m on guard duty.”_

Alex nodded, trembling. Despite his warm clothes, he obviously was freezing. He almost crawled into his jacket.

”You look tired. Why don’t you sleep?”

"Bad dreams. Do you have bad dreams too?”

"Of course.”

Alex laughed embarrassed and scratched his nose.

"Sorry if I always ask such silly questions, but I know so little about you apes."

The following silence spoke for itself. Eventually, Blue Eyes waved Alex nearer, when it became evident that the human was too shy to just sit down by the fire.

_"Keep guard, together?"_

"I’d like that.”

Alex sat down on the box next to Blue Eyes. In silence, they stared into the embers, Blue Eyes feeling their heat burn on his face like prickly fir needles. He also felt Alex’ body trembling beside him. The human really was freezing under all these layers of clothes.

_"I often have nightmares. I dream of Koba. Of fire. Of Ash's death."_

"Your brother?"

_"Best friend."_

"I'm sorry."

Blue Eyes didn’t answer. There was nothing to say. Instead, he grabbed a branch and poked the embers, until sparks flew. Again silence reigned between him and Alex. Not an unpleasant one though, it was more of a cautious approach between two young individuals who had grown up believing that the other species consisted of nothing else than monsters.

For Blue Eyes, these monsters had gained a face during the last couple of days and turned out anything but monsters. Didn’t his father say, that apes and humans were very much alike? He had never believed his father but now he experienced the truth behind Caesar’s words. Instinctively Blue Eyes felt that he and Alexander were kindred spirits. The human wouldn’t condemn him. He would understand.

"Ash … What was he like?"

_"Stupid."_

"Stupid?"

_"Yes, stupid! Should have kept his mouth shut. Would still be alive. But Koba ... Koba hated all those who didn’t think as he did."_

"Did Koba ..."

_"Kill Ash? Yes."_

Blue Eyes sniveled and rubbed his nose on his forearm.

"Could have helped Ash, but everything went by so quickly. And then Ash was dead. I couldn’t believe that Koba would do something so horrible. Ape not kill Ape. But Koba did."

A sob escaped Blue Eyes' chest. He pulled his legs up, wrapped his arms around his knees and pressed his face deep into the fur. It was embarrassing to lose control right in front of a human. Then again, what did it matter? Blue Eyes was exhausted, everything inside hurt, what did he care what a damn human thought of him?

"You know, before the Simian Flu," Alex started quietly, "I was friends with a girl from next door. Emily. She was like a sister to me. I was still a child, but I always felt I had to protect her. From other children, from the neighbor's dog or the monster under her bed. Just like an older brother does.

When the Simian Flu broke out, everything plunged into chaos. The apes were not the real problem, but humans. Suddenly people attacked us, with whom we had lived in the same street for years. It was like war.

One day a group of thugs showed up in our street. They stole what they could carry, killing all those who fought back. In the end, they set a few houses on fire, just because they could.”

Alex fell silent and pushed a piece of ember back into the fire with the tip of his shoe.

"I still can hear Emily's screams as she burned to death in her house. I could do nothing. I couldn't protect her any more than I could protect my mum."

_"You were still a child.”_

"And what were you, when Koba killed Ash?”

 _A child_ , Blue Eyes thought. _A naive child._

"It's all right, Blue Eyes. It wasn't your fault."

"I miss Ash so much."

Alex nudged him gently with his shoulder and even managed an encouraging smile.

"Hold on to his memory. The pain will never go away, but it will stop burning. Believe me".

"I don't know. Everything inside me hurts."

Alex gave him a hug and Blue Eyes, thankful for the comforting touch, put his head on Alex's shoulder.

The embers cracked. Sizzling a few sparks flew up, glowing, shining, like little fire souls.

And then they were gone.

* * *

Blue Eyes looked up when Rocket called him. Without realizing it, he had fallen back a little. He was back in the seemingly endless desert. Gently he pressed his heels into the horse’s side and caught up with Rocket.

_"Is everything all right?"_

_"Just been thinking. About Ash.”_

A mixture of surprise and long-buried pain scurried over Rocket's rough features. His hands clenched the reins. He gave no answer.

_"You never talk about him. Why?”_

Stubbornly, Rocket looked ahead and focused on an undefined point on the horizon.

_"Does the memory hurt so much?"_

_"It burns,"_ Rocket snapped without looking away from the horizon.

"Ash was everything a stupid old chimp like me could ever wish for. I was so happy when I held him in my arms for the first time."

Rocket signed like a machine-gun. It was difficult for Blue Eyes to follow the rapid signing.

"I’m Ash’s father and I couldn’t protect him. What good is a father if he cannot protect his children?"

"Perhaps fathers not only protect but educate their sons too? Ash was the only one who had the courage to stand up against Koba. Ash was brave."

Rocket snorted, but there was pride in his snort.

"Someone once told me that the pain will never leave, but it will stop burning.”

“Who said that? A wise ape?” Rocket mocked.

Blue Eyes didn’t react.

“I don’t want to forget Ash. I want to honor his courage, I want to remember the friendly chimp I grew up with, but that only works if I talk about him. Rocket, I was there, when Koba killed Ash. I could have protected him. I should have protected him. I was his best friend. I … I loved him."

The signs just flowed out of Blue Eyes' hands and fingers. Maybe it was a mistake to confess to Rocket what he had felt and still felt for his son, but it was the right thing to do. And finally, the invisible weight that had pushed Blue Eyes down, disappeared from his shoulders. He breathed a sigh of relief, even if salty tears burnt in the corner of his eyes.

For a long time Rocket didn't move.

Eventually, he released his gaze from the horizon and looked directly at Blue Eyes. Understanding flickered in his eyes. In a fatherly gesture, Rocket put his arms around his young companion's shoulders and pressed his forehead against Blue Eyes’.

"I know."

 

~ The End ~


End file.
